he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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