I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
