I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
