I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
