girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
