i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
