Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
