Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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