I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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