when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
