It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
