I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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