I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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