OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
