Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
