Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
