Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
