apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
