Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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