Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
