He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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