Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
