i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So much rum. So many feels.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
