New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
