around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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