Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
