He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
