those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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