Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Heterogeneous hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did

Fav 13 882 5241
share tweet
(765): View more from Indiana

I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college

Fav 19 5392 764
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

Fav 20 1153 9037
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

(917): View more from New York City

the suitcase or the dildo?

Fav 39 10686 2003
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.

Fav 2 1251 2533
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.

Fav 6 2868 951
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

Fav 2 1202 1222
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED

Fav 0 11 49
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband

Fav 0 30 78
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT