You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
