We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
