arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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