Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
