it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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