Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We need to rekindle our bromance
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Everclear isn't food dammit
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
