FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
