I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
