We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
