I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
