I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
