Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
