we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
