I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
