you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
