I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
