he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
