i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
