you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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