wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
