just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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